( i am 13 now). its almost as she is causing me bad luck. Emily-Jane Clark Journalist, comedy writer and author of Sleep Is For The Weak: How to Survive When Your … I know there are a lot of parenting cynics out there. “When I was a teenager, I always thought I'd grow up, get married, have kids and the traditional family set-up. I think it’s a decision your child should be able to take. about 1 year and 1/4 ago my mum told my dad she wanted to seperate which i was happy about, because my parents were always drinking and getting drunk every night. He’ll probably be off school for a day and then crack on as normal. They see the wheelchair and use that as the reason for my decision, when in fact I’m just not maternal. It is against the law to withhold your child from school, except for a small number of exceptions. i was about 11/12 at the time. I'm on Prozac but it's just too much responsibility. All of this changed at some point though, as people became more accepting of my decision. Due to the sheer scale of this comment community, we are not able to give each post the same level of attention, but we have preserved this area in the interests of open debate. Ammanda Major, Relates Head of Clinical Practice and Service Quality, tells The Independent that the issue of parenthood is something that comes up regularly in the counselling room, and came sometimes, but not always, end relationships. However, since I became a wheelchair user, even those conversations have stopped. Increased acceptance of my decision is great and I definitely don’t miss people questioning my life choices, but to have that replaced by ableism and a different type of stigma makes for an even more unsettling experience. She reassures anyone who recoils a little when they are near children that they're probably not dead inside. HuffPost UK spoke to mothers who told us they aren’t ready to send their kids back to school until they’re convinced it’s completely safe to do so. Create a commenting name to join the debate, There are no Independent Premium comments yet - be the first to add your thoughts, There are no comments yet - be the first to add your thoughts. 10 December 2020 . “I think the main thing people need to consider is if they're willing to give up looking out mainly for themselves. Apparently you like your own, but right now the prospect is most unappealing,” she says. They treat me like muck and I don't know why. Mirroring Bird’s warning, Major adds that those on the fence must consider the toll a child can take on a relationship. There are two aspects to this. she creeps up on me and looks at me wierd. And at the end of the day, no one can decide whether or not you want children but you. As a disabled woman, I now experience a different stigma when it comes to the topic of children, as shockingly a large number of people still believe that disabled people are not fit to be parents and, therefore, people find my choice more acceptable. Read our full mailing list consent terms here, “Oh,” she adds wistfully, “and the lay ins...make the most of them while you can.”. The children could redirect the gift to the spouse so that the estate becomes eligible for spouse relief and passes tax free. If the court orders that your child comes to … The fact that you still have to pay child support if you didn’t want the child is a matter of public policy. So, what happened? Talk about what support you have and how you can feed the couple relationship as well as the family relationship. “You might choose to accept the partner doesn’t want to have children or go along with a partner who does but often this will resurface later down the line. Bird would know, she has three boys aged six, four and 15-months. And being able to do more or less whatever the hell you want - whether that’s sitting in your PJs until 5pm on a Sunday afternoon or jetting off to Tunisia on a whim - surely never gets old. They can refuse if you want to send your child to school some of the time. Or so you think. She argues that the weight on women to decide whether or not to add ‘become a mum’ to their bucket list is heavier than that on men, because the toll it takes on their bodies and their careers. Tell them that you will be there when they feel it is the right time. i had it since i was little and have had allergies. I have known this since kindergarten, and my thoughts against having children have only since deepened. “You see other parents and they have their stuff handled. My choice has nothing to do with my disability and genetic condition, I simply just don’t want children. Our journalists will try to respond by joining the threads when they can to create a true meeting of independent Premium. “I imagine my mindset might change by the time I'm in my 30s, but right now, I don't even like children. If you think your children will be taken out of the country in the next 48 hours, call the police on 999. And unless it is my partner, my doctor, or someone I have chosen to discuss it with, nobody needs to know why I don’t want to have children. It’s all stopped. One dude I knew, years ago, … “Right now, I have no idea if I'll want kids,” says Ruby Webbe*, a 24-year-old who works in marketing in London. I don’t want my children to grow up too fast and, as long as I can have a say over what they do, where they go and who with, I can attempt to guide them. Now I have my three boys though I love all kids! As soon as I saw my chubby nearly 10lb baby lifted up to me, covered in his own poo I fell in love," she says with a laugh. Sadly its a lot harder for 50 year old man who has lost both his parents to be thrown out than a 35 year old man. Who you might have these hypothetical children with - or not- is another issue to consider. Anyway, like you I am sitting here with tears running down my face at what I am about to say, but i don't want my children anymore. ... Where a parent leaves an inheritance to a child or children when there is a surviving spouse. Please be respectful when making a comment and adhere to our Community Guidelines. Thanks to ableism, I went along with this for a while – but I know in my heart that if I did want kids I would want them exactly as they are, without modifications to make them more socially acceptable. Disabled people are seen as being unable to take care of themselves, so how on earth would they be able to take care of another human? Sometimes we go out and its ok but most times they fight and the older one alwways talks … My social father (this is what we call the parents who raise us) then told me that was also the case for me. That’s okay. More information But it's like I do but I don't want to have kids Each and every time I am trying to get somewhere with this and explain to him that she won’t be present in my children’slife he jumps the gun and threatens me. I get it: You don't want children. Perhaps my strongest argument of all is that I don’t mind if Max gets the flu this winter. But I don’t want that to be a fact for a child I might’ve had. In the guidance above, it only states children are “expected” to return. Turtlebrains Tue 12-Dec-17 23:18:02. KATIE HOPKINS: Why I won't let doctors give my 8-year-old son Max the flu vaccine at school. “Financial stability. Are you sure you want to mark this comment as inappropriate? I don’t want to breastfeed – the idea of my breasts being anything other than sexual is … Dear Willie D: I am a 27-years-old divorcée with four small children ages eight months [through] six years. I don’t want my kid to risk being assigned to the scrapheap, as I pretty much was. I don't drive and would have to get public transport so not really. A child under five may appear clingy, cry, scream or pretend to be ill. I am determined to get her I didn’t want to gain weight again, I don’t want to give up alcohol and my money and my nice things and my lifestyle. Before you decide against breastfeeding, though, it may be worth thinking about why you're put off the idea. While biological advances mean fewer obstacles stand in the way of conceiving, it’s easier to keep postponing the conversation with yourself or your partner about whether kids fit into your life when being childfree is less taboo and the cost of living just keeps on crawling up. Children who are particularly vulnerable to coronavirus and those who have compromised immune systems are exempt from mandatory school attendance. The parent who secured the first ever genderless official identification for their baby has opened up about their groundbreaking achievement. They had 6. Add message | Report | See all. When I disclose my genetic condition I find people are even more understanding – surely I wouldn’t want to pass on my condition to my child, they think. Child support cases are not concerned with fairness to the parents but only consider what would be in the child's best interests. Why I don’t want my children to have adventures. It wasn’t a tricky, political question, or one requiring a fact I didn’t know. I wish I could say it’s because we are a more accepting society when it comes to what a woman chooses to do with her life, but sadly the change in atmosphere came about for a different reason. “You have a tiny human you have to look after, no just jumping in the shower whenever you want or having a 3 hour nap. We don’t have anything to hide, yet simply saying “We actually aren’t going to have children!,” when someone annoyingly asks us at a party after finding out we’re married when the kids are coming along, stops the conversation dead in its tracks. 'Diseases like polio and diphtheria don’t occur in the UK any more. The first is whether you enjoy parenting and find it fulfilling. You might think you want children them but nobody prepares you for what it’s really going to be like. she is around 6 or 7 years old so no1 will want her what do i … I don't even like to hold babies, much less give birth to one. Willing to give up lie-ins for a decade to watch Disney movies all day? I have always loved children -- I love being around them, listening to the things they have to say. This is often followed by, in no particular order, teacher, lawyer, carpenter, scientist, entrepreneur, plumber, president, athlete, actor, journalist, engineer, architect, or comedian. 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