* We had just ended my foster son Z’s developmental playgroup and were walking out together. Fifteen years of foster parenting. I have experienced so many diverse and intense emotions through the years that my heart is flowing over with love for all. As a foster parent, I find that I am constantly learning something new, on a daily basis. Yes, foster parenting has been the most difficult “job” I have ever done, and the hardest thing I do. How blessed am I! Watching a child smile or even laugh for the first time after a life … Your email address will not be published. I’m a grown man and that brought tears to my eyes. I came across this article that hit the hammer on the head in regards to showing some compassion and being careful what you say to children in foster care. Through the tears of grief and sorrow and the joys and laughter, I have found that my own heart is rather like the Grinch’s. Leave a Comment . With all my love your daughter, Alex. We do intend to Adopt this child when the time comes. I try to go ahead and address it head-on, as this tends to avoid situations where someone is suddenly fumbling over their words because they don’t know which one … If you need to flag this entry as abusive, Raise the kind of person you'd like to know, residential group home for boys in foster care I have founded, Love and Mayhem: One Big Family’s Uplifting Story of Fostering and Adoption. I am often asked why I am a foster parent. If I love this child, I may move from being an unbiased participant in the process to a passionate advocate. The average time a child spends in foster care is almost 15 months, around 450 days. Three of the children that were placed into my home from foster care have become forever family members of ours through the gift of adoption. Use this time to continue the nurture. Remember in the classic 1966 Christmas cartoon “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” when his heart grew so large it burst out of the X-ray device? He is the author of several foster care books, including the highly inspirational Love and Mayhem: One Big Family’s Uplifting Story of Fostering and Adoption, and writes for several publications, including Foster Focus Magazine. I love to learn new things, as I am a curious person, in general. When it comes to Herring's inspiration to foster children, she had one explanation: love. By working with them, and by showing them kindness and compassion, I can not only help them, I can show their children an important lesson in love and humanity, and help them in their own walk towards healing. As any honest foster parent can tell you, this is what happens when a child is placed with you: Your agency calls and gives you a little information about the child. Yet, there has never been a dull moment or a boring day in my home. I represent parents whose children are in foster care. Required fields are marked *. Removing a foster child from your home can be as difficult for your family as it can be for the foster child. Some days, I just have to look at the mayhem around me and smile. So that first day Andrew stayed with us—and for the many days since—I realized it’s hard to love my foster son, and I also realized that, like Ari, I can do hard things. I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to teach my own children that we are here to help others, to serve others, and to put others before ourselves. Your welcome begins as soon as the caseworker walks into the home with the foster child. My greatest fear, like so many others who are considering venturing down the beautiful yet tumultuous path of foster care, was not whether or not I could love a child that was not my own but whether or not I could handle letting a child go that I have grown to love as my own. You can quickly see that being a foster family is the norm for my own children. The laughter is often contagious. Written from the foster parent to the foster child, it takes you through an abbreviated look at the emotions a young foster child experiences … We have grown up sons. Supporting Adoptive, Foster, & Kinship Families, Categories: Adoption Adoption Blog Blog Fostering Fostering Blog, Tag: Becoming a Foster Parent , Foster Care Adoption , Welcoming a New Foster Child, Your email address will not be published. His response was “good night”. Awww this has just touched my heartstrings He is a speaker and trainer on many topics about the foster care system, and travels around the nation delivering passionate, dynamic, energetic, and … We hope you continue to grow with each other and forge a great connection through thick and thin. Make no mistake. The views of our bloggers do not necessarily reflect the views of the Kansas Department for Children and Families or Foster Kansas Kids. I Wish with all my heart for this to happen . And now, I have a “grandchild”originating from foster care, as I am now a grandfather to a child who used to live with us. If the child that’s melting down is too little to … @karissa1122. Foster and adoptive mama, if you’re struggling with “loving” your child, remember: you are not alone and you are loving them. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, but it does have … To be sure, this constant learning process continues to grow me as a parent, and as a person. When we adopt/foster, we have an account labeled “family” and we have to put works into that account in order for a child begin to love us back. We went to all the classes, did all the research and asked all the questions before we adopted. It was hard for them- because at that point I felt like I was a piece of garbage, not worthy of anyone’s love- … During orientation, you may hear for the first time the real challenges involved with being a foster parent and adopting a child from foster care. The next night I told him good night without saying the “L” word and his response was “love you, good night”. Foster children under certain ages, such as under two years old in California, can stay in a crib in the same room as the foster parents. When a child is placed into my home, they become family the very first day. March 17, 2016 | Posted in: Special Needs Parenting. I go right back to the beginning of this post. This is where the official paperwork begins and where you will meet the caseworker who will help you through the application process.In child welfare, generally there are two types of caseworkers—family workers who work with families and child workers who work with the children in care. 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